Does Your Belief Match Your Desire?

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By: Katie Benson, Xperience Director of Expansion

It seems like a no brainer right? Yet, if you didn’t hit your goal last year, this could be why. Have you ever felt like you have your foot on the gas pedal and the brake and the same time? That’s your first clue that your core BELIEFS may not MATCH your DESIRE. The beliefs you hold may NOT be CONDUCIVE to achieving your greatest DREAMS and GOALS! 

What we believe internally will always drive our results. So HOW do we discover what we really believe?

We’ll touch on THREE effective WAYS to discover your true beliefs.





What we believe comes leaking out of our mouths due to the fact that our beliefs are sometimes held at a very unconscious level listening to ourselves describe certain situations or our ability to navigate specific situations is one of the BEST ways to discover what you believe about that particular topic. In discovering your true belief around anything, there is ONE requirement; your ATTENTION. You must consciously commit to focusing your ATTENTION on the INTERNAL dialogue that’s happening all the time. 

Go through the belief discovery list below and understand there are an UNLIMITED number of topics you could interrogate. You can pick the one that’s causing the greatest resistance in your life or, pick 3 to camp on for a few days, or pick five to work through this year. There is no right or wrong way to do this! Some topics are more surface level, some are a lot deeper and require more reflection, and some are readily available in your mind.

The important thing is to JUST START.

Ask yourself “What are my beliefs around…”  

  • REACHING GOAL / GOAL Achievement 

  • MONEY (this relates to your financial thermostat) 



  • What’s POSSIBLE for YOU in LIFE

  • Finding your soulmate 

  • How you communicate with your children

  • The BEHAVIORS you believe your children should exhibit

  • The BEHAVIORS YOU believe YOU should exhibit  

  • The RELATIONSHIP you have with your spouse/children



  • How easily you CONNECT with people


  • Efficient and EFFECTIVE execution


  • Overcoming Objections

  • Door Knocking 

  • Prospecting

  • Cold Calling

  • Writing 

  • Performing (public speaking)

  • Listing Presentations

  • Buyer consultations

  • INTERNET LEADS and their behavior

  • Open House Success Rate

Whatever you BELIEVE about ANYTHING is what will actually HAPPEN! Understand that you create the reality that you live in – there is nobody else except you, is responsible for your current reality and that current reality is a result of your beliefs!

The great news is that you have a lot more control than you think you do. You must challenge your own beliefs about yourself. Where did those beliefs come from? 

Do the beliefs you hold truly SUPPORT who you would choose to become?

Is it possible that some of those beliefs were handed to you as a child and they were never really yours to begin with? It is entirely possible that the beliefs our parents held DO NOT have to be our beliefs. When we are children we don’t have the same reasoning capability we do as adults! With that in mind, we can consciously choose the beliefs that will support the future we desire! It is only when the belief is retooled that the actions and subsequent results change.


You’ve heard it said “to know what somebody believes just watch what they do.

We’re going to take that a step further and to know your own beliefs watch what you do. 

If your actions are an extension of your belief, logic would dictate that what you do is indicative of what you believe.

For example, say I have a goal of closing 100 units in 12 months. Yet, my actions communicate that my desire is really to close 50 units in 12 months due to the fact that based on historical data, the level of effort I put into my lead generation habit will only allow me to close 50. This means my audio doesn’t match my video – I say the goal is 100 units and yet I am only willing to take the actions that will get me 50 closed units. My actions don’t match my goal! 

Or say, I have a goal of having better communication with my child or spouse.

Yet, my actions communicate that my desire is instead to check social media, focus on my phone at dinner, and choose myself over the opportunity to communicate with my child. My actions do not match my goal! 

Or say, I have the desire to save $100,000 for investment purposes, my actions communicate that my true desire is to go out to eat, buy a car I can’t afford, and purchase things rather than save. My actions do not match my goal. 

What we do is one of the biggest predictors of what we really believe is possible for us! The level of action we will take only rises to the level of what we believe is possible for us. This is the difference between what we state that we desire and what we truly desire and when those two things do not match, we never get what we desire.


Finally, our environment is the third area we can scrutinize that allows us insights into what our true beliefs are. In our early years, we tend to adopt the beliefs of those who raised us as children. This is most often our parents and it doesn’t have to be any authority figure in your life that you took instruction from qualifies. This environment of our early years is where our beliefs are formed, in fact if you find that you’re consistently self sabotaging or hitting a ceiling of achievement, this is where to start looking for the WHY.

Let me be very clear here- this doesn’t make our parents or caregivers “bad” in any way. I truly believe that everybody is doing the best they can with the tools that they have! Understand that they were also operating with the beliefs that were handed to them by their parents so this is not an excuse to play the victim card and blame your parents. They were doing, thinking, and being the best they could given the circumstances and the knowledge they had at the time. 

Thinking back to your parents beliefs around certain topics will at least give you the ammunition you need to consciously choose what you believe now that you’re an adult with more developed thinking and reasoning skills than you had when you were a child. 

Take time to reflect, dig deep, and ask yourself, “what did my parents believe about…” (below are some HOT TOPICS for you to interrogate)


– The ability to build wealth


– SALES in general

– Salespeople



– Communication


Look first at any area of your life where you feel stuck because that specific area is your biggest opportunity to shift or change the belief you have about it. I strongly encourage you to leave no stone unturned, really interrogate your own beliefs and this time, understand that YOU GET TO CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE what YOU BELIEVE. This time, make certain what you choose to believe is what you truly desire for your life.

Your beliefs will shape your WORLD

Gary Keller once said, “it’s ‘internal world’ FIRST and ‘external world’ SECOND.”

Every single thing happening in your world is a result of what you believe. In doing this reflection exercise you will no longer be running your life on outdated unconscious beliefs! You will no longer be running an unresourceful program in your mind of how your life is supposed to be! You will take back control of your WORLD and the endless possibilities that are available to YOU! Your THINKING CANNOT CHANGE until the BELIEF behind your THINKING changes. 

Commit today to consciously choosing your beliefs and the subsequent thoughts behind them. Your level of achievement depends on it. Your success depends on it. Your life depends on it.