“I don’t want to be brave.” “I don’t want to got this.”
This is what our 3-year-old Grace said about going back to school this year.
My wife and I point out how she acts brave and reinforce that she’s got this new school year.
She actually loves her school and her new classroom. We get pictures each day of a smiling, happy, in-the-middle-of-everything Grace.
For her, there’s a nervousness around going there. The car rides are filled with “I don’t want to go” and parent redirections. She’s the kid that cries each morning when handed to the teacher.
She’s also the kid that in less than 1 minute is happy to be there and playing with her friends.
Grace does got this. The fact that she feels the unease, fear, nervousness, she still lets me leave her there is the textbook definition of acting brave.
Grace at 3 found a truth that we sometimes live. We don’t want to act brave from time-to-time. We don’t want to allow ourselves to know that we got this.
We can not want to be brave for a few reasons:
We let fear get in the way of using our skill set. That emotion can actually lie to us and make us think we’re actually not brave enough or worse, think we actually don’t got it. We could fear that other people will provide unflattering opinions along the way.
Going for something hard can become overwhelming. We know that we can do it, we just may not know what it’s going to require of us. All the possible scenarios can get jumbled in our head and cause paralysis.
If we don’t know or remember the reason that we need to put ourselves out there, we might not take brave actions. If bravery is taking action in the face of perceived danger, then you’re really unlikely to run into the preverbal burning building if there’s not something important to you in there. If you don’t know why you’re doing a hard thing, why do it? Frankly, it’s a fair question.
These culprits can stop you from realizing how resourceful you are, and lead to believing you don’t got this and then not wanting to exhibit the bravery inside you.
Here’s a few ways to help tap into your natural bravery and the reality that you can do it!
Connect with who you are, what you want and why you want it. The “who” will allow you to re-embrace your true identity – the amazing person you are. The “what” will create the vision for goals. The “why” connects to your purpose and back to your identity to give you the inner drive to go for the hard thing.
Stay in the present moment. When you focus on what is in front of you right now, you will be able to tap into the clarity we just discussed. Focus on the next best activity to activate your clarity as well as a focus on the optimum thoughts and emotions to keep you moving forward.
Fact is you got this. Whatever it is; you got it. How do I know? Because we already have the resources we need to succeed inside of us. When you access that truth, the fear dissipates and confidence takes its place.
The best strategy to build up clarity, focus & confidence is to notice that you’ve done it before. You have found clarity before, you’ve focused before, you’ve had confidence before.
When is a time – that is similar to this time – when you had [clarity/focus/confidence] and used it to get what you wanted?
What characteristics were true about you at that time?
How can you use those same characteristics and apply it now?
Just like our Grace. She is acting brave everyday when she goes to her teachers. She’s building that experience of being brave at 3-years-old. Just like her, you’ve already done it, which means you can do it again…
You can be brave.
You got this!