Theadore Roosevelt is widely credited with the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
When we compare what we have or who we are to others, it’s usually from a place of lack. We look at our house and compare it to the neighbor’s nicer house. Same with a car. Or a job. Or perceived bank account.
Whereas, we should be joyful over the things we have, when we compare, we lose the joy.
This dynamic causes more problems than diminished joy. It also kills our ability to achieve our potential.
Let’s look at ways you can reach your potential. A Harvard Business Review article by Robert Steven Kaplan says that we can move toward our full potential through knowing who we truly are, excelling at mission critical activities and demonstrating high character along with transformational leadership.
Forbes article by Liene Ursine suggests potential can be reached by taking responsibility for yourself, visualizing your success, aligning actions with values, using your ego for peak performance and celebrating your wins.
Comparison kills all of that. Let’s look at the pitfalls.
Comparison kills knowing yourself
When you compare yourself to other people, you are not connecting with what is unique about you nor who your true Self is. Your energy moves towards what you think others have or wanting what someone else has for the sake of keeping up.
Comparison kills excelling at critical tasks
There’s a difference between learning from others and modeling that of others and comparing yourself to them. As leaders, our critical tasks are challenging and require our confidence to achieve. Comparison ruins our confidence because we feel bad about who we are.
Comparison kills demonstrating character & leadership
Leaders who compare are at the whim of what they see from the exterior, not casting a vision that is true to themselves. Instead of leading from being the best you, your best case is being slightly not as good as them.
Comparison kills taking responsibility
When we compare, we become victims of our circumstances. We project our situations as out of control. We say things like “If I had that ………” and insert whatever we don’t believe that we have that makes us categorically less than. We pass off responsibility to someone or something else.
Comparison kills visualizing success
Comparison, by nature, is a visualization. You see what you have and you create a visual about what you think someone else has to draw a distinction. When you’re busy visualizing this gap, you’re not creating positive mental images around who you are and where you’re going.
Comparison kills aligning actions & values
We focus on what others are doing and what we think they have, you start to move towards that reality or can find yourself stuck if you believe it’s out of reach. We align what we do with this place of lacking instead of what is actually important to us.
Comparison kills reclaiming ego for peak performance
Our ego is lit up when we compare ourselves. Ego tells us how little we have in comparison instead of using our ego to believe that we can achieve the goals that we have. It’s that belief that drives elite performance.
Comparison kills celebrate victories
We don’t celebrate when we compare. We bemoan. I call this “yeah, butting.” We achieve something positive and say “yeah, but…….” Celebrating victories helps to train our brain to go after those results, which helps us build momentum.
So, yes, comparison to others does steal out joy. It also can stop us from living up to our potential, earning our potential and having the fulfillment that potential brings.