My daughter and I were enjoying breakfast at a local coffee shop. As we were joking around as fathers and their kids do, my daughter randomly put her left hand out with her finger up and thumb out.

She asked if it looked like a “L.” Since it was her left hand, it looked “backward” to me. Then I held up my left hand in the L shape, then my right hand. She did the same. We laughed at her “L” and my “L” were being reversed for each other.

Then, she got up from her seat and came to look over my shoulder. Of course, my left hand now looked like the L to her once she came across the table. She knew that, too. We both delighted in a debate over which our hands held up the correct “L” based on our perspective sitting across the table from each other.

The reality is that we both correct from the perspective of where we sat. The only difference between correct and incorrect with the vantage point from which we sat.

This illustrates the power of perspective. What you see and what you experience are uniquely yours and shaped by how you view the world.

In psychology, “perspective refers to the mental framework through which individuals view the world around them. It encompasses our beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions that shape how we interpret situations and events,” says Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D. in Psychology Today. 

Our developed metal frameworks or programming that we have acquired and built through our lifetime of experiences directly affect how we see the world, how we interpret it and then guide our actions accordingly.

I am certified as a trainer of NLP. The achievement of that certification culminates in an intensive training where you deliver training in the group. That is no secret – obviously to be a certified trainer, you must actually train people. Part of the training requires us to present and receive feedback on what we presented. Numerous participants in the training expressed trepidation over the process of speaking and public feedback.

That was how they viewed the experience on the outset. I have a different perspective. I feel, maybe oddly, comfortable presenting and speaking in front of people. I was actually looking forward to the feedback as part of the process because I knew it would make me better.

In that environment, all the participants were doing the same activity in the same environment with the same people. The experience to the outsider was the same. However, each of us approached the training based on our perspective of public speaking.

Here’s why this matters:

To be successful – earn the money, get the job, make the sale, lose the weight, marry the person, etc. – action is required first. You don’t aimlessly walk down the street and have the perfect person find you and marry you on the spot. It takes effort and action.

The actions you take are driven by your thoughts, emotions and physiology. When you watch a big sporting event, you’ll hear the commentators talking a few minutes after the game is underway that players have “settled in” and are “’just playing the game.” Before settling, many players feel stressed.

The more important the game, the more stress they can feel. That causes tension in the muscles, not good for making pinpoint plays. It also slows down brain activity which increases decision-making time, again not preferred when nanoseconds make a huge difference. Their perspective on an important game literally causes them to perform worse.

So, if you’re looking for greater success, more fulfillment, increased joy – you must get the results to make these outcomes. Results come directly from your actions. Actions are driven by your thoughts & emotional state in the moment. Your perspective filters internal and external inputs to create what you think and how you feel. If you want to step up success & happiness, go to the source. Start with your perspectives.

Here’s some ways to shift your perspectives:

Unlike an action plan that can be given to you, not I, nor anyone, can prescribe a different perspective. I can tell you perspectives to take, yet I can give you that perspective. You are required to shift into that perspective yourself.

The best way to shift a perspective is to rethink the experience you’re in. You must question your reality statements. These are my 10 favorite questions or thought triggers to shift a perspective into one that helps.

1. What is beneficial about this situation for me?
2. What personal qualities or characteristics do I have to address the situation at hand?
3. What if everything was working for me?
4. There is no failure, only feedback.
5. If I knew I could not make a mistake, what would I do here?
6. Everyone has everything they need to be successful already inside them.
7. What’s another way to look at this?
8. There are no non-resourceful people, just non-resourceful states .
9. What else is possible here?
10. What’s the purpose? What’s the purpose? What’s the purpose? ………

These questions and thoughts guide you into doing what my daughter did at our breakfast, examining the “L” shaped fingers. Get up and find a new way to look at the same thing. When you shift perspectives, not only does the world look different to you, you are different in the world.